I am the nighttime desk manager at an art school. My exact job description is “Herding Cats.” There is not a support staff here at night, so any problems that arise with students or teachers or stalkers or half-naked crazy people screaming in the parking lot, I get to handle by myself.
(Yes, the half-naked crazy person thing happened. He ran off before the police could catch him.)
The daytime desk manager and I exchange emails back and forth so we can know what goes on during each other’s shift and be able to answer questions and solve (hopefully) whatever problems arise. I begin my shift by creating an email to her, and then I type on it throughout the night as stuff comes up. On boring evenings, I write funny emails, because hey – I’m a funny gal. And I fancy myself a writer. And writing things that entertain people brings me great joy. Even if it’s only emails.
I began this shift thinking it was going to be a quiet, uneventful night . . . so I started inserting GIFs in the email for amusement purposes. Even though the night got crazier and crazier, I kept adding GIFs to the story just because it was amusing the hell out of me.
I thought you would find it amusing as well, dear reader, so here is the email in its entity.
| from: | Marti<mkole@****.edu> | |
| to: | Beth <b***@*****.edu> |
|
| date: | Fri, Sep 1, 2017 at 12:33 AM | |
| subject: | Thursday night | |
– I just printed an ID and it spit out two cards.
– Notified IT – ID printing is halted again until further notice.
– Looked outside at 4:30 at the gentle rain and thought how pretty it was.
– An hour later, the school’s flooding, the Breakroom ceiling caved in, and tornadoes everywhere.
– I got to use the intercom to tell everyone there WAS a tornado in the area, but it was far enough away from the school not to worry, and I was keeping an eye on the situation.
– I did NOT get to print out funny signs for the flooding in the breakroom and 403. I had to write boring handwritten signs. This makes me very sad. RIP copier in the breakroom.
– Richard’s wife (who’s from California and new to tornadoes and floods) called TWICE freaking out because she was rapid-texting and calling her husband and he wouldn’t answer her back. I chatted with her for a bit to calm her down, went and told him she’d called because she asked me to, and then received four phone calls back to back when she butt-dialed me after he’d gotten home.
– The AC unit freaked out in 705, and was spitting out 121 degree air. I flipped the breaker like Martin told me to do, and it started spitting out 131 degree air. I apologized to the class and told them I tried. The instructor let them out early.
– Just did my last round, was so pleased nothing else was leaking, and then found standing water in the cafe.
– Got that mopped up as best I could. Arrived back at the front, and now tornado sirens are going off again.
– While I was processing this, Karla arrived with her kitty cat. They’re now set up in the Interior Design Adjunct office because her place flooded.
– The time is now 12:30 and I’m gonna call and check on the security guard. He’s most likely stuck or stranded somewhere. May I just say, the highlight of my evening has been compiling these gifs along the way to send to you. Tomorrow’s Friday, but it’s supposed to rain a whole lot more.
Marti Kole 