Work Email

I am the nighttime desk manager at an art school.  My exact job description is “Herding Cats.”  There is not a support staff here at night, so any problems that arise with students or teachers or stalkers or half-naked crazy people screaming in the parking lot, I get to handle by myself.

(Yes, the half-naked crazy person thing happened.  He ran off before the police could catch him.)

The daytime desk manager and I exchange emails back and forth so we can know what goes on during each other’s shift and be able to answer questions and solve (hopefully) whatever problems arise.  I begin my shift by creating an email to her, and then I type on it throughout the night as stuff comes up.   On boring evenings, I write funny emails, because hey – I’m a funny gal.  And I fancy myself a writer.  And writing things that entertain people brings me great joy.  Even if it’s only emails.

I began this shift thinking it was going to be a quiet, uneventful night . . . so I started inserting GIFs in the email for amusement purposes.  Even though the night got crazier and crazier, I kept adding GIFs to the story just because it was amusing the hell out of me.

I thought you would find it amusing as well, dear reader, so here is the email in its entity.

from: Marti<mkole@****.edu>
to: Beth <b***@*****.edu>
date: Fri, Sep 1, 2017 at 12:33 AM
subject: Thursday night

– I just printed an ID and it spit out two cards.


– Notified IT – ID printing is halted again until further notice.


– Looked outside at 4:30 at the gentle rain and thought how pretty it was.


– An hour later, the school’s flooding, the Breakroom ceiling caved in, and tornadoes everywhere.


– I got to use the intercom to tell everyone there WAS a tornado in the area, but it was far enough away from the school not to worry, and I was keeping an eye on the situation.


– I did NOT get to print out funny signs for the flooding in the breakroom and 403.  I had to write boring handwritten signs.  This makes me very sad.  RIP copier in the breakroom.


– Richard’s wife (who’s from California and new to tornadoes and floods) called TWICE freaking out because she was rapid-texting and calling her husband and he wouldn’t answer her back.  I chatted with her for a bit to calm her down, went and told him she’d called because she asked me to, and then received four phone calls back to back when she butt-dialed me after he’d gotten home.


– The AC unit freaked out in 705, and was spitting out 121 degree air.  I flipped the breaker like Martin told me to do, and it started spitting out 131 degree air.  I apologized to the class and told them I tried.  The instructor let them out early.


– Just did my last round, was so pleased nothing else was leaking, and then found standing water in the cafe.


– Got that mopped up as best I could.  Arrived back at the front, and now tornado sirens are going off again.


– While I was processing this, Karla arrived with her kitty cat.  They’re now set up in the Interior Design Adjunct office because her place flooded.


– The time is now 12:30 and I’m gonna call and check on the security guard.  He’s most likely stuck or stranded somewhere.  May I just say, the highlight of my evening has been compiling these gifs along the way to send to you.  Tomorrow’s Friday, but it’s supposed to rain a whole lot more.


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